I recently wrote a blog on RU OK day on 10 September 2019 and highlighted the plight of one friend that will no longer see her children in circumstances driven by what is commonly referred to as Parental Alienation.
I have seen various constructs of why people develop mental health issues be they:
- biological/physical (genetic, infections, brain defects of injury, prenatal, substance abuse poisons),
- psychological (severe trauma, loss, neglect) or
- Environmental (such as the trauma of Death or divorce, dysfunctional relationship transition in school or jobs, cultural expectations)
but one that is very real to many of the people that I deal with is when everything they believe in and believe to be right is challenged.
I want to paint a hypothetical scenario and imagine that you have been a Minister of Religion all your adult life and came across evidence that god could not possibly exist. You would go into trauma and possibly drift between the 5 stages of grief (shock & denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) and while going through this, your reason for living (being a minister of religion) suddenly became a lie. Your belief system and your life’s work destroyed being made meaningless would cause massive grief, confusion and a crisis of conscience that may present itself as a mental health disorder.
This type of situation however is faced every day through the tactics used in our society to remove a loving parent from a child in what is commonly referred to as Parental Alienation.
Some of the many challenges real people face when they are removed as a parent is:
- But he/she lied to the police and that is an offence. But they find never addressed.
- The purpose of the police is to “protect and serve”, “Uphold the right”, “Culpam poena premit comes” (which translates to “Punishment follows closely upon the heels of crime”). But the loving parent suddenly realises the various mottos used by police are simply to gain confidence, a lie, or for some reason they do not apply to them and are not deserving of police intervention!
- But he/she lied in an affidavit and that is perjury, but then discover the Australian Attorney General has NEVER prosecuted a case in Family Law. Their belief in the courts ability to administer justice disappears as the bills and debt mount.
- That for most of their adult life they have been defined as the loving parent, protector and provider to your children but now cast aside as irrelevant and accused of the most despicable things that make you sick.
- You may lose your job (common in some professions for those with restraining orders) and shunned in case there is something in the accusations.
All their sense of self and beliefs crumble, as does their soul, as they enter what some call “the perfect storm” for mental illness and suicide. Sadly, many do not make it, or are left with cPTSD and other mental health issues. Is it mental health, lack of resilience or simply the situation is so painful, suicide seems like the only option?
You can read about my true journey into my perfect storm and the outcome in my book “The Pinball Machine The Family Separation Industry and Parental Alienation“